Men and women are different in so many ways and they see the world through completely different perspectives altogether. The key to understanding their differences is in the way men and women communicate with each other. Communication is the first pillar which develops the base of any successful relationship.
When you are dealing with the opposite sex, we all assume that we are experts in the field of successful communication. However, men and women communicate differently and men are thought and seen to poorly express themselves, especially verbally.
Communication is so basic, yet men fail to understand women or they just do not execute it properly or put it across the right manner or hold lengthy conversations.
Men often lack the need to obviously display emotions. They often bottle up for the fear of being judged erroneously and decimate successful conversation skills, especially with the opposite sex. Therefore, most men will seek an instruction and guidance on how to hold a meaningful conversation with the opposite sex as female conversations can be enigmatic.
Here are a few important communication guides for Men to improve and smoothen communication with the Female partner:-
● Being an active listener
It is rightly said “before you speak, listen”. Men need to be patient and active listeners to get along well with Women. Patience in lengthy conversations is most desired and crucial. While seeking to understand their feelings, you also need to show some empathy. Give feedback or suggestions if required or just listening clearly without offering a solution. Possibly, while keeping your distractions to a bare minimum to leave a positive mark.
Sometimes Women may say things that may not seem as important to you, but men need to listen patiently. She is telling you for a reason and wants to share the same with you .While you are being patient you need to focus on not just what she is telling you, but her gestures as well. Active listening is not just being attentive, but it is also watching her body language as well as looking into her eyes. I know that you may want to control the conversation or disagree with them but sometimes all women want is someone to listen and give us some feedback or suggestions when it is all said and done. In the end put your ego aside and let her have the last word. Remember that is not a sign of weakness and it will not diminish your masculinity but help you establish a good rapport with Female partners.
● Know how and what to say
After a long and hectic day at work, Men just want to sit on the couch, put on the game, and crack open a beer. Women need to decompress too and so most women want to immediately call or talk to you face-to-face when we get home so we can talk about our day. It makes females feel really good and special when you ask them just how they are or how their day was. That half an hour of time that you devote to your woman could really benefit you in the long run. Of course, the choice of the words uttered and the tone in which you speak is paramount in a dialogue.
Women like to talk about everything and share their problems with Men and they usually end up talking a lot. Sometimes, they may not want you to provide any solution or suggestions, but just to understand and hear them out. At that point of time, all they want is to be understood.
Since, Women are known to be very expressive with words so you need to ensure that whatever you speak should have a positive emotional depth and warmth. Keep the words simple, calm and clear without explaining too much. There is power in an intimate and crisp conversation.
Only once you have heard her enough, you should offer a solution that deems essential to the point of the story or the problem.
Women often use communication to explore or organize their thoughts — to discover the point of the story. Therefore, she may not know what information is necessary or excessive and end up saying a lot. But a woman isn’t necessarily searching for a solution or seeking advice when she initiates a conversation. All she is looking for is someone to listen and understand what she’s feeling at that point in time.
● Choose a good topic
If a man initiates the conversation, he should make it interesting by asking open-ended questions without seeming like an interrogation or digging in it too much. Questions foster a conversation as often people like recounting their experiences, wants, needs and desires when they are at ease with the person. Therefore, it’s paramount to choose a good topic while initiating a conversation with Female partner.
● Keep your sense of humor
Celebrating individuality and differences in the thick of things especially in long-term commitment makes the relationship joyful, exciting and gives a level flow to dialogue.
It’s important to have a sense of humor to keep the interest going on and establish a cheerful mood.
● Know how her day was
At the end of a hectic day, everyone wants to relax on the bed and rest. But when it comes to women, they might want to call or meet up just to have a talk and discuss their day. It’s their stress-buster. Therefore, it’s important to ask women how her day was to give them a comforting feeling.
● Women are not direct
Women are not direct doesn’t necessarily mean they are dishonest. It simply means they will not generally communicate their feelings directly and you’ll never know what they actually want at a certain point of time, just by their words.
Women are never direct. Men find it convenient to be straight on the point all the time while women tend to think more and say it indirectly rather than saying it directly. However, they often throw hints that you actually need to pick and try to understand their feelings. Women do not like to be rushed and they take their own time to convey things and think long and hard about the conversations. When you all of a sudden spring something onto a female and you do not receive the best answer or maybe a long pause it is because we have not had time to think about it. Women need to think so sometimes they tend to beat around the bush. They sometimes need a little bit more comfort and a little push so they can say how they feel.
● When She Is Feeling Down
Women often use words as tools to explore and express difficult emotions that they are going through. Men need to realize when they are upset or going through a rough time by listening to them carefully instead of just hearing them out.
She is able to process her negative emotions and let them go when someone is there to understand them. She values support and nurture, and is most fulfilled by sharing and cooperation. When he shows interest in her by caring for her or expressing heartfelt concerns she feels loved and cared for. He is fulfilling her first primary love need in doing so.
● We (Women) do not do selective hearing
When a man answers a woman when she is speaking, we also expect them to listen to us. It is frustrating when you “choose” when and what you want to listen to us. A man all of a sudden cannot hear a woman’s voice because apparently their left-brain is not functioning at that moment. Women would appreciate it if you would get the left side of your brain into gear because they love when you pay attention and reciprocate in the same way. We (women) know we say a lot, but we listen to everything that you tell us and It does not mean selectively.
Communication Breaks Down When…
– It becomes very difficult to understand and accept one’s partner if they are not able to communicate properly their wishes and needs. Communication is the key.
– Men and women need education on these differences to help their relationships, so they do not end up in a frustrated state of resentment and feel stuck.
– If you are feeling stuck, get back on the road to better understanding and communication which will help in the long run.
– Never dismiss the feeling by telling her that the problems aren’t real or it’s futile to talk about it. When you don’t acknowledge the problem, it shows how insensitive you are. You need to attempt to minimize her feelings or talk her out of it or else there will be a huge Communication Gap.
Communication breaks down when a partner turns a blind eye to a problem instead of hearing out and finding a solution or a way to resolve it. (http://ivalueplus.com/humanresource/)